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For dating it may be even more treacherous - here you are not at a big advantage to start with.

It seems that data support it: By the age of 19, 80% of US males and 75% of women have lost their virginity, and 87% of college students have had sex.

Before we go to the more juicy parts, let’s diagnose the problem.

I am not sure if I want to publish pieces of dating advice on my semi-professional blog.

Winning a math competition is unlikely to make you much more sexually appealing.

Some great minds consider this problem notoriously hard: How to help all the young male nerds I meet who suffer from [the dating] problem, in a way that passes feminist muster, and that triggers the world’s sympathy rather than outrage[?

] I believe that, just as there are shy, nerdy men, there are also shy, nerdy women, who likewise suffer from feeling unwanted, sexually invisible, or ashamed to express their desires. :) I spiked it with numerous references, so even if you fine with dating, you may find a few interesting links (I am an unabashed link hoarder). Ideally, I would send it to my younger self (say, 15-25yo - the sooner the better), so as to be spared a lot of unnecessary emotional pain, feelings of loneliness, rejection and isolation. Most people struggle with it at some point, not only nerds. At the same time, the bar is not so high - all you need is to get a bit of understanding of yourself, your body, other people and dating dynamics.

While my problems with dating (or rather: not dating) gave me a lot of pain, they also prompted me to put a lot of effort into developing social skills in general.

Sure, there is no shortage of Internet dating advice.


  1. Feb 4, 2015. Give a Nerdy girl a chance! This doesn't apply to ALL guys/girls so leave a comment telling me how you met your Nerdy significant other!

  2. May 5, 2011. Get your courage up, and save some money because NO girl likes a guy who can't. Also, these girls may possibly be looking for geek guys. Dating sites are almost lame, but if you like to sit back in your Ace Bayou 51396 x.

  3. Apr 13, 2016. DragonFruit is a dating app by geeks for geeks. profile questions like “this user is a 27-year-old male looking for female” or just their location.

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