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Dating across language barrier

Japanese women tend to want to look, feel and be their best whenever they are on a date so expect cancellations when weather is bad or when she’s in a bad mood, or tired.

Of course you often won’t know the answer, but always be prepared for the “dotakyan” or last minute cancellation, especially on first dates. Grace Says: If you’re a woman, you might have to suggest the first date.

Japanese culture is at times pretty much the exact reverse of western culture.

How can you tell if a girl/guy likes you in a country where ‘yes’ can mean ‘no’?

If you want to gain confidence, download our free ebook about English phrases for dating.

However, because so few foreigners live in Japan, their best chance of meeting one in their normal lives is if they get lucky enough to have a native English (or other language) speaking teacher in junior high or high school.A really common mistake that most guys make when they communicate cross culturally is they think their subtle, razor sharp wit and wordplay will impress.Unfortunately, just getting the basic meaning across can be challenging enough.Many times it’s a lot more like a coffee date than a language exchange.You can find a language exchange partner in the classified section of many of the local English language magazines and there are a few sites specifically for finding a language exchange partner, e.g. Also there are language exchange groups on meetup.com, which are usually like a cross between language exchange and international parties. Be careful, most the guys you meet here are married (or otherwise taken) and just looking for the “American” experience (if you know what I mean). Walk around Shibuya and make eye contact with men, trying to get . Fun Cheapo Fact: In Japan it’s not uncommon for singles to spend hundreds of thousands of yen on “konkatsu” (婚活) or marriage hunting services!You’ll commonly notice this with service staff who despite the rigidness of most Japanese systems rarely give you a hard “no” to any request.They’ll often resort to saying something like, “That would be very difficult.”On the reverse side, you won’t often know when you get a real yes.This tendency is often infuriating for newcomers to Japan but with time, you’ll work it out.NB: In our experience Japanese guys are far less likely to flake on dates.These are one-on-one meets where you practice speaking Japanese with a native while they practice speaking English/French/German/Italian/Korean/etc with you.Not surprisingly, many Japanese girls/guys who are interested in practicing a foreign language are also quite interested and open to dating a guy/girl from that country.


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