When you have a conversation with a drunk person, you have a drunken conversation; it doesn’t make sense.
And so it is when you talk to a depressed person you have a depressed conversation. In fact, depression can be almost as challenging for loved ones as it is for the person who is depressed.
My mind has some strange thoughts going through it.
And I miss feeling connected with you.” And when they ask what they are, don’t tell them. I usually say something like, “Let’s not go into it.
Lisa and her husband Franco are the authors of WHOSE MIND IS IT ANYWAY: GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND INTO YOUR LIFE (Penguin Random House, 2016).
You can grab a FREE copy of her book, "The Lazy Person's Guide to Feeling Awesome and Ultimate ALL the time," here!
That kind of conversation is just not possible for me when I’m feeling flat. But what if this isn’t just me being depressed; I mean, I shouldn’t tolerate being treated badly, right?
Your mind may try to convince you that this incident you’re so mad about must be sorted out immediately. Because if you are, there’s a good chance you’re reading the situation incorrectly. At the end of the evening, one friend took me aside and said, “Wow, Greg is being so critical tonight.” Which seemed strange to me, since . So how do you honor yourself when you’re depressed and give yourself the love and kindness you need without blowing up an otherwise loving relationship?
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” ~Fred Rogers When you’re depressed, your perception about many things changes—so how does this affect your relationships?When you’re depressed, you misread situations; you perceive others as being critical of you. And this is why, when I’m depressed, I do something I don’t normally do: I keep my feelings to myself.And actually, they’re not my feelings; they’re just some rubbish going through my head, which I misconstrue for feelings.Thai Cupid is part of the well-established Cupid Media network that operates over 30 reputable niche dating sites.With a commitment to connecting singles worldwide, we bring Thailand to you.I’m pretty sure my head's a little twisted right now, but if there is something to talk about, let’s do it when I’m feeling better.” And do you know what?On the odd occasion where there is something to talk about, if I wait until I’m feeling better, its no big deal: I talk, he listens, we both talk, and done. Result: You and your partner have some level of connection, you’ve honored your “flatness” by accepting it, and you’ve avoided a silly discussion based on a misperception.The more depressed you are, the quieter your heart is. It’s not like you don’t have all the feelings in you; you just can’t feel them right now.Just in case you’re tempted to worry about not having feelings. One day you’re connected to yourself, and therefore your partner too, and the next day you don’t feel connected to anything. When you don’t understand what happens when you’re depressed and you listen to everything your depressed mind says, you can cause havoc in your relationship.And since the love you feel for others is a reflection of the love you feel for yourself, this is why you feel disconnected.You have an intellectual understanding of the love you have for your girlfriend/mother/sister/boyfriend, but you can’t something, so you can’t be too depressed.” And it’s true.