If you want someone who lives passionately, has an interesting, fulfilling career, has tons of hobbies, fills the room with their personality and inspires other through their actions, then you need to be that kind of person, too. We settle for mediocrity in ourselves and yet expect to end up with Leonardo Di Caprio or Keira Knightley.The classic “double-standard.”If the double standard doesn’t apply to you, it’s possible you have too much patience. Part of being an adult is being tolerant and accepting of others’ flaws. Which is why you owe it to both of you to move on, and give each other room to find a better match.Demand awe and inspiration–not all the time, but at least with some regularity. (Hell, I think you might even be able to know sooner than that, but I’m trying to be reasonable here.)And I know some people take issue with this, saying they were dating three years (or more) before they truly fell in love, and now they’ve been together 40 years now, blah, blah, blah. But what happens a lot more often is people who are in limbo for years simply get married because they feel they can’t “waste” the 5 years they’ve been together by splitting up now, and instead go on to waste ten more miserable years together being in an incompatible relationship they don’t have the courage to get out of.
You just have to let go of the current one to see them.
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If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. ” And while I don’t believe in hard and fast rules about relationship timetables, I do think it’s healthy to think about your long-term goals — keeping in mind if/when you might want children, an issue that’s more pertinent, of course, for women in their 30s and up — and whether your relationship is moving at a pace that feels right for . It’s time to have a discussion with your significant other and consider moving on if it’s clear you’re nowhere near being on the same page.
But, we did find that many who were already living together starting to lose hope around 2 years if no solid marriage plans were being made.” Coincidentally, this is also the point that many women begin losing faith in mankind in general. If what you want is a longterm commitment and the person you’re with won’t give it, quit wastin’ your time (and losing your mind) and move on, if you want children. Does reading something like this make you feel more or less confident about where you are in your own relationship?
A big milestone that was left off the list was when to say “I love you.” Any thoughts about what’s “normal” in that regard?