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I’m pretty annoyed at being accused of being offensive for my use of the words “cheese sandwich” and don’t want to bring it up as I can’t see a way of that conversation going well (I’m not planning to apologize; I don’t think I need to?! I realize the obvious solution is just to never ever mention food (or nutrition or words that aren’t vegan) again, but I need help with how to get back to a place where I feel like I am comfortable in my work environment rather than slightly on edge in case he kicks off at me again for some insane reason.Well, first, let’s state for the record that this isn’t about veganism or vegans; it’s about one rude guy who happens to be vegan.My diet also leans heavily towards vegan and I understand and sympathize with the reasons that can lead to this choice.* After buying and showing him a vegan product I had just purchased (and commenting that I had done so in the hope of avoiding a more animal-product based health solution), I found myself harangued at length about how healthy non-vegan foods weren’t actually healthy, and “Would you eat a human? ”* I sent an all-office IM asking if anyone wanted a cheese sandwich I had accidentally bought (accidentally in that I thought I had bought a different filling).Have they done trials on the benefits of eating humans? I received an email back from him demanding that I don’t include him on any further “offensive” emails.We're not asking you to genuflect to us — in fact, most of us would love nothing more than to deal with you as an equal and welcome you into our culture, if you put in the effort required to make that possible.But it's simply not efficient for us to try to help people who are not willing to help themselves.For most people, a computer is merely a tool, a means to an end; they have more important things to do and lives to live.We acknowledge that, and don't expect everyone to take an interest in the technical matters that fascinate us.

I enjoy my job and I did enjoy working with this person, but now I feel quite thrown and unsure of how to react to him.If you're reading this document because you need help, and you walk away with the impression you can get it directly from the authors of this document, questions. We are here to show you how to get help from people who actually know about the software or hardware you're dealing with, but 99.9% of the time that will not be us.Unless you know for In the world of hackers, the kind of answers you get to your technical questions depends as much on the way you ask the questions as on the difficulty of developing the answer.This is a Good Thing; users tend to be just a little bit more tolerant of the kind of failures newbies often have.Still, treating experienced users like hackers in the ways we recommend here will generally be the most effective way to get useful answers out of them, too.It's OK to be ignorant; it's not OK to play stupid.So, while it isn't necessary to already be technically competent to get attention from us, it necessary to demonstrate the kind of attitude that leads to competence — alert, thoughtful, observant, willing to be an active partner in developing a solution.I think your instinct to just never discuss food or nutrition with this coworker again are 100% correct. He certainly overreacted about the cheese sandwich — but it also sounds like that office update reminding people to use work communications appropriately might have indicated that you shouldn’t be sending all-staff emails about food anyway, so that’ll take care of that.But it’s certainly possible that despite your best efforts to avoid the topic with him, it could come up again.He could comment on your food, or he could overhear a conversation you’re having with someone else, or you might bring baked goods for the whole office, or who knows what.So I think you’ll feel more comfortable if you’re armed with some phrases to use if that happens.


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