Most people couldn’t care less about the rando who thinks that people owe him a debate or argument or his belief that she shouldn’t have done $THING that he disapproves of – whether it’s her tattoos, her clothes, her hair or her lifestyle.Do yourself a favor; reign in your knee-jerk “Someone on the Internet Is WRONG! If she specifically for help or advice, then by all means, contribute.If you want to compliment someone on Instagram or Facebook and stand out from the horde of douchebags flinging their dicks at her?Compliment her on her Now, Arden’s clearly attractive and this picture is intended to be alluring.It’s not flattering, it’s not validating and it’s not – then she doesn’t care how she makes your penis feel. Complaining that someone does something for “attention” – whether it’s a selfie, skimpy cosplay or wearing a swimsuit while streaming games on Twitch – is almost always about absolving yourself from getting caught looking. After all, who like to hear that they’re enchanting or that they’re the only cactus in your garden?Even when you leave out the online equivalent of catcalling, making sexual or even overly flirty comments to someone you don’t know is going to be uncomfortable and unwelcome at . However, most men go straight for complimenting a woman’s looks. Under the best of circumstances, complimenting someone’s looks is both boring and unoriginal.
The other problem is that, much like #notallmen, leaping into a stranger’s conversations because you can’t stand to let a perceived error go uncorrected tends to be less about fixing things and more making it about for you and just leaping in just increases the odds that you’re going to trip over your wang in the process.And while I’m at it: the “gentlemanly” compliment of “you have such a lovely face, you shouldn’t have to show off your body” isn’t going to win you any favors.It just says “Yes, I stared at your boobs, but you should know I didn’t like it because I’m a Nice Guy.” If your compliment can be followed up with “m’lady…” then you need to rethink it. There are few things that women find more infuriating than the guy who assumes she’s an idiot.This includes pictures that are clearly intended to be sexy – whether they were taken professionally or simply for fun. My friend Arden Leigh is, among her many jobs, a dating coach and professional model. You’re almost never the first person to suggest that maybe she could be a model or how great her legs look or her boobs.She takes pride in her sexuality and enjoys posting pics where she feels she looks hot. Even “you’re hot” is lame – unoffensive, relatively speaking, but lame.First rule of trying to talk to women social media: leave your dick out of it. Of course, this inevitably leads to complaints about how “guys can’t compliment women any more.” In fact, I’m glad you brought that up, convenient rhetorical device…There’s nothing more likely to get you shut down than mentioning how turned on you are by somebody’s pics. Paying someone a sincere compliment is a regular part of flirting.In my time, I’ve been lucky enough to make friends with a number of awesome women who’ve been in the public eye.From cosplayers to fetish pin-ups, burlesque dancers to lingerie models and the occasional reality TV star, much of their careers involved a heavy online presence.But as social media continues to become our main form of communication, it feels incumbent upon me to give some guidelines on how to thirst online responsibly.Here’s how you can talk to women online without being a creeper in the process.