It’s called emotional invalidation, and for most of us, it starts in childhood, with parents and other adults.
This is true for me – growing up, I was a sensitive kid and I cried easily.
Thanks to treatment, Ms Mc Mullen has developed a stringent exercise regime.
She focuses on her breathing and being in the moment when her emotions peak, and plans positive events to look forward to."It sounds so simple and commonsensical and almost menial, but this is the type of stuff that you need to learn how to do in order to help give you perspective," she said.
Ms Mc Mullen didn't regularly self harm before her diagnosis, but the behaviour increased afterwards.
About 1 to 2 per cent of the population has the illness, and about 10 per cent of patients will suicide if left untreated.
Ms Mc Mullen was initially diagnosed with a range of mental illnesses, including depression, anxiety and bipolar."Every day was just this huge emotional rollercoaster. I would take things really personally, not in an egotistical way, but in a self-damning way," she said."I got around hating myself, and needed to put on this face to the rest of the world that I was competent, capable and confident, but really underneath, I would be feeling that I didn't belong, and feeling that there was something deeply, fundamentally wrong with who I am."I thought that I was broken.
I was convinced that I was defunct."Ms Mc Mullen experienced intense emotions, and would dive head-first into relationships. People would re-assure her that it was 'normal' to feel insecure or to have ups and downs in relationships.
When people are unfamiliar with a term (something like pansexual or aromantic, relatively new terms) they often take it upon themselves to decide what's easiest for them to handle. However, if they do truly care about you, you need to inform them about how their invalidation makes you feel and ask them to change how they treat you/which pronouns to use/et cetera.
“You’re over-reacting.” “That’s totally irrational.” “There’s no reason to be upset.” If you have anxiety, chances are you’ve been hearing these kinds of statements for as long as you’ve struggled with the disorder.