(Host) Now let's meet contestant #2, He's a psychopathic derranged crackhead freak Who works in the Dark Carnival. First of all, I could never love you You sound like a richy bitch, yo fuck you!But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care, By takin all these other motha fuckers outta here!Your dad would probably start trippin and get me pissed I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips!It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother I pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother I'm standing staring at your sister, I'll tell you this You know for only 13 she got some big tits!Grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist Let go, and watch em both spring up in your face I'd sing love songs to ya, the best I can Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman Then we'd go through the beach and walk in the sand I'd throw a little sand in your face and say I'm just playin As you spit it all out, I'll fuck your back Grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!!!(Host) Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just overflowing with sensetivity Sharon, It's a tough choice so far, Sharon, let's have your last question And see which one is gonna win the right to your next date (Sharon) Ok, if we were at a dance club, And you both noticed me at the same time, Tell me, how would you each get my attention And what would your pick up lines be? Ok, first, I'd slide up to the bar And tell you that I can't believe how fuckin fat you are! I'd order you a drink, and stir it with my dick And then to get your attention in a crowded place, I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face!After that, your dad would try to jump again And only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin!
After that, your dad would try to jump again, and only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin.After your mom does the dishes and the silverware, I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear.(applause and laughter) Host: Now lets meet Contestant number two. Sharon: I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, a man who expresses himself in his own special way.I'd go through your phone book and whack 'em all, and find Contestant number one and break his fuckin' jaw (what!? Then we go to the beach and walk through the sand I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin'.as you spit it all out I rub your back and grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!) Anyone who looked at you would have to pay I'd be blowin' fuckin nuggets off all day I'd grab your titties and stretch 'em down past your waist Let 'em go and watch 'em both spring up in your face I'd sing love songs to ya the best I can, get ya naked And hit it like a cave man Then we go to the beach and walk through the sand I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin' As you spit it all out I rub your back and grab Your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack Well, it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing With sensitivity, Sharon, it's a tough choice so far Sharon, let's have your last question and see Which one is gonna win the rights to your neden Okay, if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me At the same time, tell me, how would you each Get my attention and what would your pick up line be Whoever's the smoothest wins Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar and tell you That I can't believe how fucking fat you are I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake Fuck that, you'd be jackin' me quick I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick And then to get your attention in a crowded place I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yo that'll get her Tell her that she's fat, yeah that'll work even better Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap shit you don't want He's mad whack, I walked into a bar and there he was Standing on a bucket tryin' to fuck it It was a big fucking smelly ass farm llama Damn dawg, how ya gonna dis your mama?This song's text is a mystery; we have not found it yet.I'd tell ya that I like the way you make your titties shake, And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake. Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yeah that'll get her!Tell her that she's fat, yeah, that'll work even better!(Host Intro) Let's meet contestant #1 He's a schitzophrenic serial killer clown Who says women love his sexy smile. Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stay. (Sharon) Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last forever, So let's say you were to come over to my parents' house And have dinner with me and my family.