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I’d hoped to find war stories from a fellow PSB struggling with the garbage part of long-term singlehood: loneliness.

The book is, rather, Bolick’s celebration of five historical spinsters who crafted exciting lives despite their lack of husbands, as well as an exploration of Bolick’s ambivalence toward the outdated idea of mandatory marriage. “How do you reconcile having a rich life and being lonely? She replied: “It’s about not organizing your life around another person—when you shut all the doors and prioritize the relationship above everything else.

Sometimes it spills out of me in tears that trickle down from behind my sunglasses as I sit on the streetcar on my way home from work, inching home toward another solitary meal, another night alone in bed.

I burst into my apartment and cry and cry and cry, standing in the middle of the living room.

” because I’m so, so over the Sad Single Person Meal trope, but I never cave.

It’s always “Just one, thanks.” Are you thinking, Listen to this sad-sack bitch.

As a result, recent years have seen a rise in single-lady-friendly lit, with uplifting titles affirming the pleasures of life uncoupled, including the 2011 book (Crown, ) by Kate Bolick, author of the 2011 viral Atlantic article “All the Single Ladies.” I read Spinster and, while Bolick is a spectacular mind and first-rate writer, it gave me zero solace.I like to have a balance, where my friendships are as important as my romantic relationship, which is as important as my work.” But what if there is no romantic relationship? Bolick urges women to “make a life of one’s own.” Done.But I also want to make a life with someone else (and maybe a kid or three).“It doesn’t feel feminist, the wait for love: ‘If you really want to be a mother, go out and have a baby on your own.’ But that’s what feminism gives us, the ability to make choices that we didn’t have a generation ago, to have the love and the child with that love,” Notkin says.“The truth is that we are modern, independent women who yearn for traditional dating and romance. It’s actually quite feminist to admit what you want.” Yet the persistent perception is that loneliness is something empowered women shouldn’t deign to suffer—something that can be fixed with yoga or a new dating app.In , a 2014 tome I found more comforting, author Sara Eckel points out that people are happy to write memoirs about eating disorders, crack addictions, cheating people out of their life savings, being Jenny Mc Carthy.But almost no tell-alls explore loneliness in depth. I’ve dropped it in heart-to-hearts with everyone from my BFFs to my mother and watched their faces twist in embarrassment. Melanie Notkin, author of the 2014 book , believes our longing for companionship is often maligned because it doesn’t jibe with people’s ideas of boss bitchdom.While waiting for my post-bar Uber a few weeks ago, I overheard a bro refer to my 2 a.m.poutine as my “boyfriend for the night.” It’s easy for PSBs to feel like freaks when the coupled world constantly reminds us of our single status. Just live your life and work out/smile/go out more, and he will come to you.” One pal insisted I had been concentrating too much on my job.It’s an involuntary physical reaction to the lack: of someone beside me on the streetcar, of someone waiting for me on the couch.And I let the pain flow through me, feel it race up and down and through the conductor of my body.

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