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Toxic relationships will cause monumental breakage to people, families and workplaces, but they aren’t necessarily the territory of the weak, downtrodden or insecure. We never know how things will look when each other’s less adorable, kind of awful habits start to show themselves publicly, or under the influence of alcohol or in-laws. A toxic person will float through life with a trail of broken hearts, broken relationships and broken people behind them, but toxic relationships don’t necessarily end up that way because the person you fell for turned out to be a toxic one.
“If you always put your partner’s needs before your own and let all bad behaviors slide, you probably aren’t your best self with that person,” says Naisteter. “If you recognize you are the only one doing the giving, then this is a sign that your investment is not being honored and may need to be given to someone who will value the effort to your commitment,” says Twine.
Accepting vague text messages and no phone calls will not encourage intimacy and won’t do anything to improve your love life.
But if you seem to be in not-great relationship after not-great relationship, it could be a sign that you’d rather be with someone—anyone—rather than be on your own (not good! In healthy relationships, you’ll never feel like you’re compromising your values or worth.
Sure, maybe your hopes and expectations aren’t being met, but for the most part, your needs are met in other ways. Tell yourself it’s OK to want more, because you deserve more!