However, in marriage, desire can start after you start kissing, not before. When I ask why married couples don't kiss, I often hear, "If we kiss, it always has to lead to sex." Without a doubt, couples who kiss have more sex.
How many times have you thought during sex with your spouse, "Why the heck don't we do this more often? Yes, kissing in marriage usually creates more desire to have sex.
So what do most married couples say when I ask how often they pleasure kiss?
Before reading their typical answer (and if you're married), pause here and answer the question for yourself. Pleasure kissing can be more intimate than intercourse.
She views her attraction to other women as a test of faith that must be resisted.
The oral zone is one of the principal erogenous zones of the body, and it's thought that the tongue is more erogenous than the lips.And there are couples who make an intentional decision to increase kissing and hugging for a week while forgoing sex. "It's awkward to kiss since it's been so long." I hear this remark more than any of the ones above.The partner with a lower desire for sex will thank the other partner for offering such a guilt-free week. "Awkward" is another word for anxiety, so in essence this answer means, "I feel anxious when we kiss just to kiss." If you want to have a better sex life, it is important to learn how to manage your anxiety and push through awkwardness.Focus more on how much you care for and love your partner and less on getting something from them.When Hana* tearfully confided in me that she felt like she was born ‘damaged’, I instinctually tried to comfort her by saying, ‘No, you’re not! Other lesbian Muslim women, by contrast, celebrate their sexuality and some believe that sexual diversity is actually a test for heterosexual Muslims.For many in marriage, such kissing has more weight and meaning. For many married couples, sex focuses more on climax and less on intimacy.I define intimacy in sexuality as eye contact, emotional connection and being mentally present.After a long day filled with kids, work and dozens of other responsibilities, married couples just want to feel good without having to put in more time and effort that true intimacy requires. Sometimes a desire for intimacy doesn't show up until you start kissing.Most individuals want to feel something -- passion, excitement, arousal -- before they kiss.Although my research includes both male, female and gender diverse Muslims of various sexualities, lesbian Muslims in particular experience unique challenges.Rafeeqa says within her Pakistani family, young women have less freedom than men to spend time alone with friends, live on their own or choose when to marry.