(It’s still live, so you can feel free to add in your two cents!
) I got a whole slew of responses, but versions of the same question kept popping up over and over again: I myself have been called intimidating a lot throughout my life.
You talk about a cool trip you took last weekend and he has to share one that’s even better. He’ll eventually embarrass the hell out of himself and his friends won’t let him live it down. Crystal Crowder Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger.
He has to come up with something more impressive than anything you have to say. You know that little voice in the back of your mind that’s constantly analyzing every moment when you start flirting with a guy? Except when they feel intimidated, the little voice is so loud they can’t maintain a conversation. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style.
He thinks it’ll make him seem like your equal or better. They get distracted trying to figure out how to respond or how to make themselves seem good enough in your eyes. A better man takes the approach of simply not talking about himself much. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and hopes to have her first novel out soon.
He’s intimidated and doesn’t want to look bad to you.
I’m independent — I live alone, I support myself, and I don’t need anyone to help me change a lightbulb.
(Yes, this is one of the things certain men found intimidating.) And I like these parts of myself a lot.
The queer men and women I spoke to had never been given the excuse of intimidation as the reason why they weren’t finding dates (though, admittedly, my findings are 100% anecdotal).I tried to make myself appear smaller so I wouldn’t overshadow the man I was out with. A string of egocentric assholes who wanted to me small so that they felt bigger.The men who I wanted to be dating, on the other hand, wouldn’t call me for a second date, because they’re men who like forthright, independent, complicated women — and that’s not who I was being.People have written over and over again how first dates are like interviews, and that you have to put on a shinier version of yourself so as to not scare away the person across from you.I believe that to a certain extent — I won’t open up and spill of my neuroses on the table right away, even though I overthink everything.Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for me a few years ago.Being the person I was, I started to try to tone down my personality.So, being a woman who used to mold and fold herself to meet society’s standards of “the girl he wants to date,” I started Googling to see exactly what men found intimidating in a woman, all in an effort to fix it in myself.The answers I found were actually super enraging — especially on one particular Reddit post I’d stumbled across.As much as he might want to approach you, he’s put off by your confidence. His ego’s been hurt somehow and now he has to go lick his wounds. No matter what you say to the guy, he takes it as an insult. He’s intimidated and thinks you’re constantly judging him. If his ego’s that fragile, do you even want to deal with him to begin with? Snide comments about whatever you happen to say is a sure sign he’s feeling intimidated.It’s in the way you hold yourself and interact with those around you. At this point, he’s just trying to downgrade how awesome you are. It’s petty and stupid, but some guys think this makes them look better. Do you suddenly feel like the exchange has turned into an escalating tennis match? Remember, the right ones stick around to learn who you really are.